He provides!

I talked in a previous post about getting our pay at the church cut in half and loosing my client last week.  Well, Luke and I were worried that I would be out of a job (even though I'm employed, I have had no client).  We knew that we had the other half of the ultrasound from last week to pay for and that we had our mortgage and electric bills to pay.  We were worried that we might be REALLY tight on money.

Well, let me be the first to tell you, MY GOD PROVIDED!  Last Sunday the church threw a graduation party for me and one of our youth students.  Between all of the cards I received, I was given almost $100.  I received a call from Integrity (where I work) Monday morning and was asked to fill in for a client this week.  It's only 15 hours, but that's more than I was working with my other client.  God provided income for this week!  So, I was on my way home yesterday from the clients house, and I got another call from Integrity asking me to take on a permanent client starting next week!  I told them I would take it!  I didn't even have to go one week without finding a new source of income!   The amazing part is that it fits PERFECTLY within my summer school schedules between both Evangel and OTC!

Oh, and I forgot the best part.....are you ready for this!?!?  I got home yesterday after working, and my doctors office called me!  They said that the other half of my ultrasound had been taken care of!  I don't owe anything!  Isn't that amazing!  What a blessing!  What a great week I'm having after such a crummy one last week! 

I may have published some depressing posts, but I'm the first to admit when something amazing has happened!  Things are beginning to get better! 

Blessings!
Alicia Marie

Not gonna lie...

I'm scared.  I've told you before that I'm scared of the unknown, and with this ultrasound tomorrow, it's definitely an unknown.  I don't know what they're going to find during the ultrasound.  I don't know what treatment(s) I'll be doing after it's over.  Personally, I'm scared that some lady is going to stick a "probe" up me and look at my insides.  It almost seems un-natural.  Isn't there a reason God put them on the INSIDE of our bodies?  YES, THERE IS!  It's so we don't have to look at them!!! 

Anyway, I am ready to get this over with.  It looks like I'll be able to take care of that ridiculous bill after all.  I called so many times and pleaded with them that they are allowing me to break the payment up into smaller portions.  That's a relief!  I really feel that after this ultrasound I'll be able to accept things a little easier.  If everything comes back okay, I'll probably stay on meds to regulate AF and eventually get pregnant.  If the doctor sees something abnormal, at least I'll know what's causing the issues, and I won't feel as if I'm a loser wife who can't provide a child for her husband (even though I probably will still feel that way at times).  At least I'll be able to (hopefully) treat what ever is wrong (or know EXACTLY what to pray about).

I've found it incredibly hard to pray lately because I don't know what to say.  I know that God knows what I think and feel, even when I don't have the words to say out loud, but it's been so hard to pray.  I think it's mainly because I don't have a specific "problem" that's causing my issues.  It's all up in the air right now.  Hopefully after the appointment Monday, that issue will be resolved, and I'll be able to express what I want to more easily.

I only picked this picture because it was kinda creepy!  lol.