Sunday, December 18, 2011

Hormonal Rage--The Duggar version

Alright, let me start off by saying that I am well into day 4 of being on Provera, and I have extra hormones raging through my body.  Luke, more than anyone, knows to stay away and keep his mouth shut during the 10 days I'm on Provera, or there could be some major temper flares.  With this being said, this post is my response to an article I read this morning when I first logged online.

Unless you've lived under a rock the last few years, you know who I'm talking about when I say "The Duggar family."  You know, they're the family with a miniature army that grows numerically every year or so.  As of a month ago, the Duggars had announced that they were, yet again, pregnant with Duggar baby #20 or #21 if you count the baby they lost 20 years ago (which I do!).  A month after they announced on national tv that they were expecting again, TLC announced that Michelle Duggar had suffered a miscarriage in her second trimester.  When I first heard the news of her miscarriage, my heart automatically went out to her.  After loosing a baby two days after I found I was pregnant, 2 years ago this month, I know the pain a miscarriage can bring to a family.  For days I read tweets of people saying that "this is God's way of saying enough is enough, stop having children."  My response to this was, "stop being ignorant you judgmental, heartless fools!"  Who cares if this family has 2 kids or 20, no matter what number the child is in a family, each one is precious.  Each one is important, no matter if they're born healthy, premature, or they pass away in the second trimester!

This morning I read this article on Yahoo.  Talk about making me irate!  I was fuming with anger when I finished reading it.  Here's an excerpt from the article about the family releasing photos of baby Jubilee. 
“It just seems too public and almost seems like, ‘OK, we’re stars, everybody wants to know abut us,’” said Susan Newman, a social psychologist who has taken the Duggars to task for continuing to procreate in two columns for Psychology Today. “From what I know of parents who have lost children, it’s horrific. It’s not something you want pictures of. There are people who will argue with me and say it’s a way of coming to terms with the death. But given the Duggars’ history, their television show, and the way they exploit their children, I just find this a cog in the same wheel. I find it rather distasteful.”
Is this really so bad?  How is this "distasteful?"  I say it's BEAUTIFUL!

Okay!  Does this make anyone else angry, or is it just me?  How many of you mothers out there that have lost children wanted something to remember your children by?  I know, if I had lost my baby in my second trimester, you better bet I would have taken pictures!  My baby is just as much a part of my family as a healthy living child will be one day, and the same goes for little Jubilee Duggar!  Of course, loosing a child is "horrific."  It should NEVER happen.  Parents should never have to bury their children, and children should never die, but the fact happens, and we can't stop it.  The most we can do is remember our babies and keep them a part of our family and our memories for as long as we live!  As far as the comment from the article of the lady thinking it is "distatesful," I, personally, find it distasteful that she thinks she can judge a mourning family for grieving the loss of their precious 4 oz baby, Jubilee.

Sure, you may not agree with their lifestyle or how public their lives are, but what decent, caring, kind individual would put down a grieving family?  So what that Jubilee would have been their 21st child.  She was loved from the moment her existence was known, and she will always be loved for the rest of that family's lives

So, to everyone out that with a heart of stone and a mouth that spurts hateful, hurtful comments...back off.  Seriously.  Let this family grieve the loss of their little child without scrutiny from the public on whether their grieving process is acceptable.  Everyone grieves differently, and my bet is that if it were you in their position, you would want the ability to mourn the death of your child however you felt necessary.


  1. Sigh. Where to start?

    A baby is baby. Period. I ache for her loss and would spit on those who say that she should stop. It's her life, her family, and her LOSS. No one should tell her how to handle it.

    And that photo is beautiful. Just beautiful.

    I just posted about thoase moments in my life when I wished I could print out a picture of what my memory looks like. Michelle will never have to do that. She has her magical camera, and a way to remember her daughter forvever.

  2. I couldn't agree more with this post.
    I would have 10000 pictures of my baby no matter when it was born... I've lost 3 babies, and I would LOVE to have pictures of them, but they were just too small.
    I can't believe the things that people say. It's awful. I am a member on babycenter, and people are saying awful things about this too. One girl has the nerve to say, "If I had a miscarriage, I wouldn't be sad." key word "if" she's never had one.. she can't make that assumption.
    UGH I was SO angry. I'm about to post about it on my blog, because she said more stuff than that, and it was SHOCKING.
    Anyway, I am glad that you feel the same way that I do. A loss is heartbreaking, no matter when they happen, or who they happen to. AND the best way to grieve a loss, is the way you choose to, and it's always comforting to carry on memories of the loved one you lost.

  3. Thank you for this very wonderful blog post!! You are one of the few voices of 'reason' on this I've seen.

    As to them being too 'public' with it, BALONEY. They loved their baby, and if they want to share her sweet, precious, beautiful pictures with the whole world, that's their business.

    I even showed them to my 13, 11, and 8 yr old daughters and they thought they were beautiful and precious.

    The duggars need our prayers, not our criticism.

  4. I was so happy to see that all of the comments showing on article, were in support of the Duggers and their precious photos of their lost child. I can't think of a sweeter tribute to your baby. It's deeply touching and absolutely tugs at every heart string.

  5. I agree with you 100%. My pictures of Isaac are so incredibly important to me. They are the only pictures that I will ever get to have of my son. I am so thankful to our sweet, wonderful nurse who started taking pictures right after he was born.

  6. I completely agree, in fact I got worked up reading your title thinking your post would be along the same lines as the article! I have been really disapointed in the infertility and loss comunity regarding this issue, both of her getting pregnant again but also her losing little Jubilee. They are a family just like the rest of us are trying to be, and they are an incredible family at that. I pray my children will be as kind and well behaved as all 20 of theirs are.

  7. So true, people should keep their mouthes shut and let them alone. Whether you agree with their show or not, think they exploit or not, blah blah blah, now's not the time to put your two cents worth in. But there will always be some idiot that has to say something, inevitable.

  8. I have lived under a rock for the last couple of years lol i had never heard of these people before. I have to agree though, losing a child is horrific no matter when it happens or how. This saddens me.

  9. Well said, Alicia, well said. You already know my thoughts I posted them on facebook.



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