Wednesday, June 22, 2011

Two years gone....

Today marks the two year anniversary of poppie's passing.  I miss him like crazy.  For a while it seemed like with each month that went by, letting go of him got easier.  Now, I just want him here with me.  I want his advice on things going on in my life.  I want to hear him tell me that he loves me.  Gosh, I know that's incredibly selfish, but as I've said before....I CAN'T HELP IT!

I've tried to push back the memories I have with him, but they resurface day after day.  I still randomly cry because something has reminded me of him.  Every time I look at my wedding pictures, I'm reminded that he wasn't around to watch me walk down the aisle AND marry us!  On top of all that, every time I go to school (at Evangel University), I'm reminded of my Poppie.  Him and my Memaw took me to Evangel the Summer after I graduated High School.  I think he knew that I needed to go to Evangel (even though I fought it!).  But, with the Lord guiding me, I made the decision to attend Evangel, and I wouldn't ever trade it for anything!  Evangel has BY FAR been one of the best experiences of my life!  To walk to class everyday makes me feel incredibly blessed to have grandparents that believed in me and my ministry and pushed me to pursue what I have been called to do!

I remember saving the very last voicemail on my phone that Poppie left, for a very long time.  For months I would play it over and over again just to hear his voice.  Then, one day I went to listen to it, and it was gone.  It was no longer on my phone.  I tried everything I could to get it back, but I couldn't.  I remember I feel on the bed and weeped all night.  The VERY last thing I had of Poppie was gone, and there was nothing I could do about it....

I guess all this rambling was just to convey that I miss my Poppie and wish he were still here

Sorry this is sad and depressing...I'm hoping to get back to happy Alicia soon!

1 comment:

  1. Remember, you are much loved, and totally cherished


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