Truth is...When I step in front of the mirror I see a beautiful woman, and the moment I step out the front door, any and all confidence I had in myself disappears.
Truth is... My emotions are too easily swayed by other people and their emotions.
Truth is... One moment I can be having the best day EVER, and the next moment I'm crying my eyes out and seeking the closest McDonalds for a sweet tea to comfort me. (Hormonal much?)
Truth is... I'm not the domesticated wife I should be, and I probably will never reach that status, either. *gasp*
Truth is... My heart longs for things it shouldn't.
Truth is... I don't understand why God has chosen me to go through this infertility journey knowing that my heart is too easily broken.
Truth is... Tomorrow I'm going to be on my way to Arkansas to see my family for Christmas, and I'm beyond excited, but at one point in my life I did everything within my power to get as far away from them.
Truth is... No matter how good our family Christmas Eve dinner will be, it will never be the same without Poppie being there.
Truth is... I love people, but I avoid going grocery shopping because I have that underlying fear that some pregnant woman will walk in front of me and I'll lose any ounce of composure I had when I walked in the store.
Truth is... I have no Christmas tree or decorations in my house because holidays are not the same to me as they once were. They're only gut-wrenching painful reminders that we're left with empty arms for yet ANOTHER holiday.
Truth is... Every time someone has asked me what I wanted for Christmas this year, I wanted to yell at them tell them that Christmases from here on out, until we are blessed with the miracle of having children, I will only long for a sweet, healthy baby to hold in my arms. Nothing else. Just a baby.
Truth is...I wrapped Christmas presents for 2.5 hours last night because I waited to wrap them until I absolutely had to get it done. (can you say procrastination!?!) It looked like Christmas threw up in my living room. No lie.
Truth is... I miss leading worship at church. The closest I ever felt to God is when I was leading worship. Since music flows through every vein in my body, it was like leading worship was the one line that connected me with the Lord and where I felt he knew my heart and my brokenness.
Truth is...I'm such a horrible cook that when I do attempt to cook, I cry. Like, a lot.
Truth is...I wrapped Christmas presents for 2.5 hours last night because I waited to wrap them until I absolutely had to get it done. (can you say procrastination!?!) It looked like Christmas threw up in my living room. No lie.
Truth is... I miss leading worship at church. The closest I ever felt to God is when I was leading worship. Since music flows through every vein in my body, it was like leading worship was the one line that connected me with the Lord and where I felt he knew my heart and my brokenness.
Truth is...I'm such a horrible cook that when I do attempt to cook, I cry. Like, a lot.
