That post where my heart is breaking

I wanted to write about my appointment on Friday, but right now I can't.  My heart and my mind are conflicting each other at the moment, and I'm broken.  I can, however, simply tell you that the doctor said he'd be more than willing to take my case, and he is completely confident he could get me pregnant.  Also, he said that the  ultrasound showed I had 41 follicles.  Wow.  That's a lot.. 

I'd tell you more but, honestly, I just don't have the words to express everything that has happened this weekend.  Just know that I desperately need your prayers.  My husband and I need your prayers.  Those of you who have gone through this, you all know infertility is hard.  Because of that, we've got major MAJOR life decisions to make.  So, please, be in prayer for us.  For me.  For my sanity.

I just want to be a mom.  Is that so hard to ask?

-Alicia