A heavy heart....

Today was difficult.  I feel like my heart has been ripped into a million pieces.  If you care to know why, continue reading.

1. Today was my (favorite) church pianist's last day.  She's been playing at our church approximately 11 years, and I've been around her for the past two.  I've grown to love her, and she is a VERY dear friend of mine.  I basically held it together during the services, but as I told her goodbye in the parking lot tonight, tears began to flow down my cheeks.  I knew this day was coming, but I couldn't keep from getting emotional.  Not only has Pam been an amazing pianist to me during my days of leading worship, she has been an immense blessing to me.  She always has the most positive things to say to me to build me up in faith.  She's been there for me through my highs and lows, and I'm so appreciative of her.  I know you're reading this, Pam, and I want you to know grateful and blessed I feel to have you in my life!
2. Life is changing for me.  For Luke AND myself.  Decisions are being made that will possibly change my future, and it's scary.  I worry about what path this will lead us down.  If there's anything I dislike more than vegetables, it's not knowing what my future holds!  Stay tuned for the new update on our latest decision!  You're gonna wanna sit down to read it!
3. I wrote a blog a week or so ago about feeling like there's something greater out there for me.  I still feel this way.  The only difference is that the feeling has intensified.  I can't seem to shake off this feeling that I have.  I go to bed thinking about it and what could happen.  I wake up in the mornings thinking about it, too.  It seems to be a part of me that goes every where I go, yet it's so far away from me.  I can't pinpoint exactly what it is just yet, but I hope that I find out soon.  I'm going crazy.  Considering I'm the queen of Google (I Google everything!), I wish I could type in a few phrases, and it would tell me exactly what's going on with me and exactly what to do about it!

Well, before this post gets entirely depressing, I'd like to say how thankful I am that I'm blessed with such amazing, supportive, and loving friends!  I'm blessed beyond all measure!  As I've been reminded lately, "You're loved and cherished!"