Monday, May 2, 2011

Letting Go

Throughout my life I've been plagued with anger, sadness, and depression. I have cried so many tears over things that I had no control over.  I was to the breaking point.  I had allowed myself to hold problems in for so long that I was a ticking time bomb.  I could never comprehend why people didn't understand what I was going through.  I was told not to feel the way I did, but I never seemed to be able to change how I felt....until one day.

One day changed my life.

I was in El Salvador doing mission work for 6 weeks when I had a heart to heart conversation with the Lord.  At the time I was VERY sick with a parasite that I had unknowingly contracted the year before in Venezuela.  I didn't understand why I was having to go through the pains of the sickness and why I was having to deal with the emotional "junk" going through my heart and mind.  It was through this heart to heart conversation that I realized that I would not get ANY better until I forgave someone for what they had done to me.  I had built up so many walls and barriers between me and other people that it's no wonder people didn't understand me.  I wasn't letting them in.  I was so hurt from my past that I couldn't and wouldn't let anyone help me even if they wanted to.  I've always been the one to fix other peoples problems, but when it comes to myself, I lack very much of what I help others with every day.  It was that day that I realized that I would NEVER get "better" if I didn't allow myself to forgive the way my God forgives.  The Bible says to forgive 7 X 70 times.  No, that doesn't mean to stop forgiving after the 490th time someone hurts you.  What the scripture is saying is to forgive them continuously.  That was something I once struggled with.  I had held on to every bad moment throughout my childhood that I neglected (basically refused) to remember the good things I had experienced.

It was then, when I realized what was holding me back from God's peace and happiness, that I gave it over to God.  I forgave.  I must say, that moment was probably one of the hardest things I've ever had to do, but it has been so worth it.  The broken and seemingly unsalvageable relationship that once (never) existed began to flourish.  Relationships began to form and I began to feel whole for the first time in my life.

God restored what I thought would never be whole again, and He gave me a new heart that would give, love, and forgive unconditionally!

I'm telling you, if you have something against someone, please forgive.  You never know what God will do with your situation until you TRULY give it to Him and FORGIVE!

4 comments:

  1. Also, when we experience mercy, it's such a freeing, wonderful feeling to know that you have been forgiven!
    Good luck, forgiveness is a daily choice and it's not always easy!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Hellow sweet girl! You have been on my mind lately. I just wanted to know I think you are a fantastic person!
    I am also giving you a versatile blogger award. You don't have to follow the rules i just want you to know I think you are awsome.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Hi I found this site by accident lookin at apps in a tablet and God does work so it wasnt an accident,actually.
    Just want to say thanx for making it,
    and God Bless

    ReplyDelete
  4. I'm not sure if I'm doin the comment as thing right.

    ReplyDelete

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...