Thursday, March 10, 2011

The dirt is still fresh

Today I was leaving my clients home, and I was headed back to my house.  I started thinking about what God is trying to teach me through this fertility junk.  What could he possibly want me to learn by not giving me the child I long for?  There are days that are better than others, but today was weighing heavily on my heart. 

As I was pleading with God, I happened to look out the right window.  I was stopped at a red light next to a cemetery.  Right beside me laid a tombstone with fresh dirt on the right side of it.  My initial thought was that a couple was buried there.  I thought to myself, "the dirt is still fresh".  Immediately my heart began to hurt for that family that just lost a loved one.  How could I be so selfish.  I have been crying my heart out for God to bless me, and there's a family somewhere (they're really all over) who is hurting beyond  any expression of words who wish to be with their lost loved one.  My heart sank and tears began to flow down my cheeks.  I truly grieved for that family.  It reminded me of my number one fear that I wrote about in my last blog, Biggest Fears.

It was at that moment I sat there absorbed in someone elses pain rather than my own.  God had shown me that even though my heart is heavy and I cry out to Him, there are other people in the world who are hurting too.  I've known this, but today, it really hit home to me.  Even after the light had turned green and I drove on down the road, my mind kept replaying the image of the fresh dirt and the family that left their loved one that day at the cemetery. 

So for the family out there today that is hurting (even if you're not the family who buried the loved one in Springfield), my heart goes out to you.  I care about your sorrows and your pain, and I know a man who cares about your every need.  He is my Lord and my Savior.  His name is Jesus.   

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