Friday, April 29, 2011

Scared!

The other night I got on the internet to check out the local news before I went to bed.  On Monday morning, there was a double murder on the south side of town.  Normally something like this wouldn't effect me, but this time it did.  Shortly after I found out about the murder, I received an email informing me that the two people that were murdered were the grandparents of a girl who attends Evangel University with me.  As if the story alone wasn't sad enough, the fact that the murders effected someone in my Evangel family tore me up inside.  Anyway, I ran across a newly released article about the murders online.  The police chief stated that the two murders were the worst and gruesome he has ever dealt with in his entire career.  How alarming!  Of course, being the scaredy cat that I am, I could NOT get to sleep for the life of me.  I get this way when I watch or hear about something horrible before I sleep.  If, by chance, I eventually fall asleep, I have horrible nightmares throughout the entire night.

So, I tried to lay down in hopes that I could fall asleep, but with every movement of the dog down the hallway and every breath my husband made, fear swept over me.  My heart began to pound.  What-if questions began to flood through my mind.  Don't get me wrong, I am prepared to meet the Lord whenever that day comes, but one of my worst fears is to be murdered or die a painful death.  So, of course my mind was racing back and forth.  I began to perspire just thinking about what MIGHT happen.  "Could our house be the next target for the 'random' murder?"  "Did I lock ALL my doors?"  Horrible thoughts went round and round in my head like a merry go round at the fair.  I was worrying myself over something that hasn't happened. 

It was then that I realized worrying wasn't going to do me any good.  In fact, all it was doing was getting me emotional.  So, I said a prayer and asked the Lord to give me peace that would calm my mind and my heart.  I also asked him to protect me and Luke while we slept and keep us safe from all harm.  

Sometimes it's really hard to trust God, especially when fear lurks around every corner, but eventually we have to give it to God because He is the only one that has control over our lives!

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