We hit the road and ended up in Tulsa...

Two weeks ago, I was in a huge funk. I had gotten a call from my doctors office getting the "official" word that they're finished with me. I now am referred to the Reproductive Resource Center in Kansas City for "more evasive treatments." Anyway, my hubs had remembered a comment that I made about wanting to see Happy Feet 2, so he got us two tickets to the new IMAX theater to see the movie in 3D.

 

After the movie was over, I had this overwhelming urge to just leave.  I wanted to leave town for the weekend.  We rarely ever go anywhere, so I decided to give in to my urge and take a road trip.  I asked the hubs if he wanted to go to Oklahoma, and he said, "ok."  So, at 11:30 pm we got home, and I told him we had 15 minutes to pack everything we needed for the next few days.  We jumped out of the car and scrambled about the house looking for any and everything we could possibly need.  We made it to the gas station by 12 am, and we filled up our tank and put gas in our tires then set out on the interstate.  I drove and drove and drove for what seemed like an eternity before I started getting tired (Luke slept on and off the 3 hours on the road).  I finally saw a sign for a hotel in Rogers, AR, so we stopped there for the night.  Talk about a nice hotel!  All I cared about was having a room that had a bed and shower, but the room was so much more than that!  It was so modern.  So...sexy!  Anyway, we found some pamphlets at the entrance of the hotel for things to do in Oklahoma, so we picked up a few.  Luke and I decided to go to the aquarium in Jenks, OK.  After we ran through the toll booth lane without paying (that's a whole other story for another time), we finally made it to the aquarium.

 

The aquarium wasn't as busy as I thought it would be for a Saturday morning/afternoon.  When we got inside, people were setting up tables, and catering trays.  Apparently they were getting ready for a banquet, but I found out that people can have weddings there too!

 

I'm not sure I'd ever want to be married at the aquarium, I'm quite grossed out by the smell of fish, but to each their own, yeah?  

We continued to walk around, and we saw some really cool things!  Here are some of my favorite pics I took from the trip (I only took a few, anyway!)

 

Also, I was able to pet a shark and a stingray.  Grated, it took me a good 45 minutes before I convinced myself to put my hand in the tank, but I still ended up petting them!  I had little kids telling me, "just do it--I did" or "I was scared, too, but now look, I can't stop playing with them--don't be scared."  Talk about feeling like a baby, even the little ones weren't scared!  Oh well, at least I went through with it EVENTUALLY. 

Just before we left, we stumbled upon a domed hallway of thick glass, at least I hope it was thick!!!  People could walk under the glass and surrounding them were sharks galore!  It's kinda surreal.

Overall, it was a great trip.  We stayed in nice hotels and didn't have to pay the high price we expected.  I got out of town, and I desperately needed to get away.  I'll always remember that weekend.  It was filled with more laughter in those two days than there have been for the last year!  I think it was a part of the healing process I have been needing.

driving in chicago blows...but, i am thankful

I am thankful for making it to Chicago in one piece. We made it all the way here with little to no problem, and it wasn't until the last 30 minutes of our trip that we saw our first wreck of the day. We had several close calls, we learned that our GPS is directionally challenged, but we made it. Alive. That's all I could have asked for.

I'm meeting part of Luke's family for the first time this week. We've been married over two years, and I had yet to meet his aunts, uncles and cousins. There are 21 of us here for Thanksgiving this year, three of which are children 4 and under.

I am sitting in the hotel right now and updating from my phone, so I will have to update with more at a later time. Until then, I just want to wish everyone a very Happy Thanksgiving. Blessings to all of you and your families.

--Alicia Marie

Who are you to say it's not meant to be? (infertility etiquette part 3)

The following excerpt from the Infertility Etiquette series is one that hit so close to my heart that I thought it deserved a post of its own rather than being grouped with another etiquette rule.  I'm going to go ahead let you read the rule, and then I'll explain why it has a special place in my heart.

"Don't Say They Aren't Meant to Be Parents
One of the cruelest things anyone ever said to me is, "Maybe God doesn't intend for you to be a mother." How incredibly insensitive to imply that I would be such a bad mother that God felt the need to divinely sterilize me. If God were in the business of divinely sterilizing women, don't you think he would prevent the pregnancies that end in abortions? Or wouldn't he sterilize the women who wind up neglecting and abusing their children? Even if you aren't religious, the "maybe it's not meant to be" comments are not comforting. Infertility is a medical condition, not a punishment from God or Mother Nature."


Here's my thoughts on this.  I cannot count the amount of times that I have heard, "It's just not meant to be," or "Maybe God doesn't want you to be a mom, maybe you're meant to do something else with your life, and worst of all, "you just need more faith!"  Talk about painful!  Of all the things that people have said to me the last year and four months, those kind of comments have hurt the most.  I've always struggled with figuring out Gods will for my life, and when infertility struck, I was more confused than ever.  There isn't a day that goes by that I don't blame myself for our situation.  I tell myself that I MUST have done something wrong in life for God to punish me like this.  I know that these thoughts are of the flesh, but I can't help but think them.  I come from several generations of Assemblies of God believers.  Having faith in God and being in God's will is something that has been ingrained within me from a young age.  When people tell me that I need more faith, it definitely doesn't help the situation.  Just because I am considering IVF, it doesn't mean that I am lacking faith in God and His miraculous power.  I DO have faith that God can heal me, but at the same time, I look at reality.  Sure God can do a miracle in my life, but who's to say that the miracle won't come in the form of an IVF baby?  For my body to be able to have a baby, no matter how it happens, it will ALWAYS be considered a miracle; therefore, I will never not have enough faith!

Infertility Etiquette (part 2)

As a continuation from my previous post about Infertility Etiquette, I begin with the first two rules in proper infertility etiquette.  Personally, I've had more (negative) experiences with the first rule than the second, but I believe the author of this post on RESOLVE's website does a wonderful job of conveying why the following should not be done.  Without further ado...

"Don't Minimize the Problem
Failure to conceive a baby is a very painful journey. Infertile couples are surrounded by families with children. These couples watch their friends give birth to two or three children, and they watch those children grow while the couple goes home to the silence of an empty house. These couples see all of the joy that a child brings into someone's life, and they feel the emptiness of not being able to experience the same joy.
Comments like, "Just enjoy being able to sleep late . . . .travel . . etc.," do not offer comfort. Instead, these comments make infertile people feel like you are minimizing their pain. You wouldn't tell somebody whose parent just died to be thankful that he no longer has to buy Father's Day or Mother's Day cards. Losing that one obligation doesn't even begin to compensate for the incredible loss of losing a parent. In the same vein, being able to sleep late or travel does not provide comfort to somebody who desperately wants a child.


Don't Say There Are Worse Things That Could Happen
Along the same lines, don't tell your friend that there are worse things that she could be going through. Who is the final authority on what is the "worst" thing that could happen to someone? Is it going through a divorce? Watching a loved one die? Getting raped? Losing a job?  Different people react to different life experiences in different ways. To someone who has trained his whole life for the Olympics, the "worst" thing might be experiencing an injury the week before the event. To someone who has walked away from her career to become a stay-at-home wife for 40 years, watching her husband leave her for a younger woman might be the "worst" thing. And, to a woman whose sole goal in life has been to love and nurture a child, infertility may indeed be the "worst" thing that could happen.  People wouldn't dream of telling someone whose parent just died, "It could be worse: both of your parents could be dead." Such a comment would be considered cruel rather than comforting. In the same vein, don't tell your friend that she could be going through worse things than infertility."